The only climax you desire right now is the bedgasm you have when you exhaustedly climb into bed for sleep.
You love sex - for the first few weeks or months at the start of a relationship. And then never again (please).
You’d rather do the laundry than have sex, and when you and your partner do get down to business, you push through with all the enthusiasm of loading the washing machine. Just another thing on your endless to-do list.
Friday’s big work meeting. The milk you forgot to grab from the shops. If it’s time to fake your orgasm now. All things you worry about during sex because you’re just not present.
You feel like your sex life is somehow broken. You rarely fancy it, your sex drive is low, and you don’t understand why.
Every time your partner touches you, you secretly pray it won’t lead to sex. You might even feel more like companions than lovers.
You’ve tried everything. Sexy lingerie. Romantic dinners. Fancy massage oils. All the sex toys (yes, even that yoni egg Gwyneth Paltrow recommended), all in the hopes of finding that illusive button that says you’re ‘ready and excited’ for sex.
But nothing works.
You love your partner more than anything — but Netflix just dropped your favourite show, and (if you’re honest) you’d much rather curl up in front of the TV (without your partner’s wandering hands anywhere near you, thanks!)...It might even feel like you could go the rest of your life without sex.
You want answers. You want to understand why.
But more than that, you want to get your sex drive back.
Imagine slipping between the sheets together after the kids have gone to bed because the last thing on both your minds is sleep. You want sex. Glorious, touch-me-again sex.
No more scheduling sex. No more ‘birthdays and anniversaries only’ sex. No more keeping track of “the last time you did it”. Because sex is part of your life again. A moment to be grabbed, anytime.
You get what turns you on. You’re friends with your body again. No more anxiety and shame about sex. Just pleasure and peace. The way it should be.
“Is it even possible to get my sex drive back? I’m afraid I’m broken somehow.”
“Sex just stresses me out and gives me anxiety … how can I get out of my head?“
“Why did I enjoy sex in the beginning… and now I never want it anymore?”
Re:Desire is the sex education you wish you had at school—one where the only homework is bringing sexual pleasure and desire back into your home.
Because helping solve sex problems is what couples all over the world seek me out for. And I’d love to help you too.
I’m a social worker, trained therapist and clinical sexologist with a Master of Science in Sexology.
My life's work is getting you out of your head and back in your body so you can enjoy sex, confidently connect to your sexuality, and relish melted marshmallow intimacy in your relationship again.
And I help you do it all through Re:Desire. My 9-month, private-practice-wait-list-skipping digital program.
I don’t want you to have to wait for help. This is sex drive support on demand.
You don’t have to be an expert in sexological science, coaching or psychotherapy tools. That’s where I come in handy. All you need to bring to the table is desire. A real desire to love your sex life again.
A 9-month online support course for people of all genders with a low sex drive.
An intimately designed 5-phase path to pressure-free, shame-free, stress-free sexual desire.
Kick pressure and stress out of your bed and usher in butterflies-in-your-tummy desire for your relationship. Because you deserve it.
20+ short video & audio lessons, and lots of actionable tools and exercises (no-fluff guaranteed), created by a sex therapist specialized in low desire & mismatched libidos (me!).
In Re:Desire we address everything from how sex drive really works, how to deal with anxiety and stress surrounding sex, how to talk about sex with your partner without losing it, how to increase intimacy in your relationship, and (of course) how to get your sex drive back. So you can truly revel in sexual pleasure and want your partner again.
The lessons are on average 10-15 minutes and the exercises are all to-the-point - in order to help you have more and better sex in the least amount of time as possible. All based on sexological science and my extensive experience as a sex therapist and coach.
Re:Desire contains both individual exercises and targeted couples exercises to help you get closer to your partner, reduce conflict surrounding sex, talk about sex, and increase intimacy and desire.
We're all low on time and tapped out - which is why the full curriculum is also made available to you in a podcast app of your choice. This makes consuming the content in Re:Desire so much easier to fit into your day-to-day, because you can listen to it on the go, or while doing the dishes. It's also the perfect opportunity to refresh your knowledge on all your favourite teachings and tools.
Intimate direct access to the same voice notes I've sent my 1:1 clients in the previous live version of my online program Re:Desire. Some of my best-kept secrets on how to increase desire and intimacy *without* pressure, and stress.
13 (and counting!) short and sweet episodes (3-13 min) to be consumed in a podcast app of your choice, filled with expert coaching on creating a stress-free sex life
Each voice note episode is based on common themes experienced by my clients where I help them shift and move past shame and stress connected to sex.
This module is a crash course on sex drive and teaches you everything you need to know. It includes:
Common myths, how sex drive really works based on sexological science, and what to do when arousal is a challenge
A quiz to help you work out how your unique sex drive works
A couples exercise that guides you and your partner on how to talk about both of your sex drives and understand one another better.
This module is all about gaining a deep understanding of how your unique sexuality and desire works. Some of what it includes is:
Getting to know your personal circumstances needed in order to increase your sex drive.
A couples exercise on how to talk about your ultimate circumstances together with your partner and how to create them.
The number one way to reduce pressure and stress and how you can implement it in your relationship to instantly feel lighter.
An individual roadmap on how to proceed in the curriculum of the program.
This module is all about removing sexual obstacles. Part of it includes:
Information on common sexual misconceptions that lead to less sexual enjoyment, desire and intimacy.
How to create more realistic sexual expectations
How to become more present in the moment.
A step-by-step couples exercise you can use for life on how to approach intimacy and sexual touch in a non-threatening and intimate way.
This module covers everything you need to know about thoughts, feelings, physiological reactions and their connection to sex. Parts of it include:
How to deal with negative thoughts and emotions surrounding sex
How to break a negative sex cycle and create a positive one, so you can experience more intimacy and pleasure and less pressure.
A whole host of strategies on dealing with anxiety, shame & body confidence related to sex
This powerful module helps you connect with your sexuality. Parts of it include:
How to understand what turns you on and what you like sexually (even if you have no idea right now!).
An exercise on determining what you want your sex life to look like.
An exercise on how to connect with your body on your own and understand what kind of touch you enjoy and want.
This module contains several couples exercises that will help you and your partner connect sexually. Part of what it includes is:
An exercise on how to talk about things that turn you on - with pointers on how to express yourself, what to talk about, and how to set the mood right.
An exercise that helps you and your partner reignite that sexual spark
An exercise on how to talk about sex in a fun and flirty way.
This module is about tying it all together. Part of what it includes is:
The creation of an intimacy and desire action plan that ties it all together. It helps you set realistic and achievable goals and is tailoured to suit your unique sex drive and goals.
How to sync your action plan with your partner’s and move towards a pleasurable sex life and relationship that you both want and deserve.
This module is all about troubleshooting difficulties and problems and maintaining desire and intimacy. Part of what it includes is:
The creation of a maintenance plan in order to keep growing together sexually, even after Re:Desire ends.
Several resources to explore your sex life and create a deeper emotional connection with your partner.
This module is all about learning how to deal with a discrepancy in desire. Part of what it includes is:
An exercise that will help the partner with low libido feel less like they're "only wanted for sex", and the partner with more libido feel like they're attractive again.
Strategies for dealing with different sex drive styles and how to meet each other's needs even if these needs are different.
This module is all about helping you get your partner onboard with Re:Desire and to do the exercises with you. Part of what it includes is:
How to talk about your low desire with your partner. The how, when, where and what to say to help them feel good about going on this journey with you.
This first phase is all about learning how sex drive works. With quizzes, worksheets and guided exercises, we map it all out so you understand what’s going on -- because you can’t get your desire back if you don’t know why it’s gone in the first place.
While laying the groundwork for increased desire you also get instant access to a quick daily exercise to boost your relationship throughout the duration of the program. The first phase ends with you choosing a personal path forward: tailored to your specific needs and difficulties.
Phase 2 is all about working with expectations surrounding sex, reducing sexual stress and learning how to be present in the moment.
You’ll work with thought patterns and feelings connected to sex and your relationship to really banish any and all obstacles that are standing in the way of your desire.
The powerful exercises in this phase will help you feel better about yourself, sex and your relationship – helping you create an environment in which your desire can come flowing back to you.
Phase 3 is the fun part – it’s where you explore your sexuality and body and work out what turns you on and how to create the sex life you want -- and deserve.
You’ll be figuring out which senses are the most important for your desire, what kind of touch you enjoy, what kinds of scenarios and ideas get you going, and what you find sexy and attractive about your partner.
It’s truly a transformational phase where you get in touch with what sex means to you and what you like sexually – in a safe space. So you and your partner can connect on a sexual level again and feel close.
When you’ve tried a whole host of exercises in order to remove obstacles and explore your sexuality -- it’s time to piece it all together.
This is where we get really specific on what’s needed moving forward: you create goals for your sex life and relationship, and create an action plan designed to increase desire & intimacy, while reducing pressure. A plan that's completely tailored to your own specific needs.
This is one of the most impactful and invaluable parts of the course -- it really is a game changer in order for you to get your desire back and experience sexual intimacy.
In this final phase you’ll be focusing on how to make things even better, troubleshooting problems and creating a maintenance plan for the future.
And this is part of what makes Re:Desire so unique – because we focus on both getting your sex drive back and maintaining a great sex life and relationship. This way you’ll always know what to do in the future if you need to switch things up again.
This program isn’t just about momentarily increasing desire, it’s about understanding your sexuality and sex drive so you can use the tools in the program the rest of your life! With tools, exercises and support, you’ll figure out why you have low sex drive and work out what good sex means to you. By the end of the program you’ll know what you like sexually and you’ll be able to communicate it to your partner too!
Maybe you haven’t had sex in a really long time -- or just haven’t been feeling it lately while having sex. Wherever you’re coming from, your goal is wanting to get your sex drive back. Sex feels like something you want to prioritize (even if you haven’t for a long time and, to be honest, sometimes feel like you could go without it for the rest of your life). But you’re ready to experience that closeness and intimacy again. You want your partner to feel loved and attractive, and you really want to feel good about sex. You’re done with avoiding intimacy and sex and you’re ready to work on it!
Re:Desire gives you all the tools and exercises you need, but the only person who can do the work -- is you (with a little help from your partner, of course). By joining the program you’re committed to putting in the time and energy required of you to not only understand your sex drive and increase it -- but to also learn how to create and maintain a sex life and relationship you love and deserve. Just like other things in life that are important to you; you’ll prioritise the program and the life-changing work inside of it.
Re:Desire works best if you’ve previously experienced desire. Maybe you remember a particular time when you were younger, or perhaps your partner sent you swooning in the beginning phases of your relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to have experienced mind-blowing sex or ever have felt particularly comfortable about sex -- just that you’ve experienced desire at some point in your life.
This program is designed for those who are experiencing low libido but who want to work on it and are committed to staying in their relationship or marriage for the time being.
Re:Desire has been designed for people in monogamous relationships or marriages. This means exercises, coaching and feedback all emanates from this standpoint.
Re:Desire works with your desire from a holistic point of view. This means you work on a deep level and address things like: emotions, thought patterns and your relationship. In order to get the most out of Re:Desire it’s important any health struggles you may be experiencing are being treated or have been treated in the past. Re:Desire does not provide treatment for any mental health struggles as it is a coaching program -- not therapy.
While Re:Desire helps you with struggles and challenges in your relationship/marriage, it’s important you and your partner feel amicable towards one another. This isn’t couples therapy, which is why it’s important you have conflict resolution skills or seek help for this elsewhere. Your relationship by no means has to be “perfect”, but you’ll need a solid foundation to build from.
If you’ve previously been subjected to sexual assault and experience triggers surrounding sex, it’s important to seek help before joining Re:Desire. While we do touch on sexual assault in the program, Re:Desire is not therapy, which means the work needed to process previous experiences cannot be dealt with within the program. Any lingering triggers or PTSD from sexual assault need treatment from a mental health professional first.
If you can spare the same length of time it takes to make and eat your breakfast in the morning, then Re:Desire is the kind of easy breezy framework that’ll comfortably fit around your busy lifestyle (yes, even with a packed iCal, newborns, toddlers or door-slamming teens to contend with!).
Lessons are an average of 10-15 minutes long. Everything can be done on the go (on your schedule, not mine), - no live calls or lessons to squeeze in.
I’ve had clients from 19-75+ on my books, so when I say age is just a number, I mean it. Aging can cause a dip in desire, but it’s possible to increase sex drive (even during menopause). As long as you’re willing and able to put in energy, and you’ve got a real desire to recover intimacy in your relationship, desire is totally possible for you.
A happy sex life doesn’t have an expiry date! Serious, long-term, committed relationships make up some of the best partnerships I’ve supported through Re:Desire. Some have spanned as long as 30+ years – so no, you definitely haven’t been together too long for this. My work is based on sexological science and experience. Your work is trusting the process. As with many things in sex, length really doesn’t matter!
Subscribe to my email list to save 300 USD on the entire course fee + get access to my free, comprehensive training on the Re:Desire program & the science of desire in long-term relationships.
Watch the free private "MIND BLOWING”, "100% relatable” training (Re:Desire clients' words, not mine!). A 1.5 hour free training video - or podcast, depending on your preference (so you know everything there is to know about Re:Desire before joining).
Join Re:Resire and immediately get access to bit-sized teachings on the science of desire in long-term relationships, actionable exercises, your private podcast feed, and more!
1. Once you fill out your email and hit that big blue button below, you'll get an email with your link to enroll in Re:Desire Self-Study and save $300!
When you sign up you will also get immediate access to my deeply appreciated newsletter - filled with actionable tips on sex and relationships. You can unsubscribe anytime.
2. Once you're signed up you'll get a personal invite to a “MIND BLOWING”, "100% relatable” (Re:Desire clients' words, not mine!) 1.5 hour free training video - or podcast, depending on your preference (so you know everything there is to know about Re:Desire before joining).
You and your partner never talk about sex and the few times you’ve tried, it never goes very well.
You can hardly remember what it’s like to be turned on and you stress out as soon as your partner touches you.
Sex feels like a spousal duty and you feel shame and guilt for never wanting to have sex anymore.
You feel closer to your partner and enjoy sex together. It’s a source of pleasure - not pressure.
You’re no longer afraid or nervous about intimate contact with your partner - you want it.
You no longer feel ashamed or guilty about sex or your sexuality and sex drive. You feel normal.
You can close this page right now and pretend we never spoke about this.You can keep doing what you’re doing, and maybe things will change and you’ll get your sex drive back again. It’s a gamble, but it’s possible.
Or you can take the next 9 months to focus deeply on your relationship, sexuality and emotions so you can get out of your head and find body-tingling sexual pleasure again!
The choice is yours.
Getting your desire back isn’t like pushing a button -- it’s comprehensive work but it’s work that is well worth it. The program has been designed to help you understand your sex drive, increase it and then maintain it. This is why it’s not a quick program, because it's not a band-aid solution. It's the whole, holistic solution and approach. 9 months is needed to lay the groundwork for a great sex life and relationship -- not just for an initial increase of desire!
Re:Desire is a program for people with low desire, meaning all the support features are exclusively for the partner with low desire. However, the program has been designed with the intent that you’ll be including your partner in various exercises in the curriculum. Whether you do this right from the beginning, or a few weeks or months into the program is, of course, completely up to you.
No. Most of the exercises and tools you’re given are done using worksheets to help you reflect on sexual obstacles and negative thought patterns -- as well as turn-ons and things you enjoy about sex. Couples exercises often center around talking about sex, emotions and intimacy. There are a few exercises that are about touch and desire but the exercises are never designed to “make” you have sex. Re:Desire is all about reducing the pressure a lot of people feel to have sex -- not adding to it!
Re:Desire is a program for people with low desire, meaning all the support features are exclusively for the partner with low desire. However, the program has been designed with the intent that you’ll be including your partner in various exercises in the curriculum. Whether you do this right from the beginning, or a few weeks or months into the program is, of course, completely up to you.
No. Most of the exercises and tools you’re given are done using worksheets to help you reflect on sexual obstacles and negative thought patterns -- as well as turn-ons and things you enjoy about sex. Couples exercises often center around talking about sex, emotions and intimacy. There are a few exercises that are about touch and desire but the exercises are never designed to “make” you have sex. Re:Desire is all about reducing the pressure a lot of people feel to have sex -- not adding to it!