Fall Back Into Bed Together. Without The Dread — And Want Your Partner Again.
(Zero judgement) is this your sex life right now?
The only climax you're after right now is the bedgasm you get when you exhaustedly climb into bed — for sleep.
Now a hug is never just a hug. And going to bed at the same time feels like an agreement you never signed. You might even feel more like flatmates than lovers at this point.
On the occasions you and your partner do get down to business, you push through with all the enthusiasm of loading the washing machine. Just another thing on your endless to-do list.
Friday's big work meeting. The milk you forgot to pick up. Whether it's time to fake it so this can be over. All things running through your mind during sex — because you're just not present. You can't be. Your body is there but your brain checked out the moment things started.
Every time your partner touches you, you secretly pray it won't lead anywhere. A hug on the sofa and your brain is already scanning: If I kiss back, will they think I want sex? If I pull away too quickly, will they be hurt?
You love sex. Loved it, anyway. For the first few weeks or months of the relationship, it was easy. And now the idea of it makes you want to reorganise your sock drawer instead.
If you've experienced any of these feelings in the past few months — or years — I want you to know something, even if you only read this one sentence today:
You're not broken. And there is a way through this.
And if nothing you've tried has worked so far — that's usually just proof you haven't found the right approach yet.
If it helps: I've been in this work long enough that very little surprises me. And nothing you've just read would.
But if we're being honest… it goes deeper than that, doesn't it?
Because it's not just that sex feels like a chore. It's what not wanting sex means — the stories you tell yourself about it.
You love your partner, you're sure of that. But every time they reach for you, your whole body tenses.
And then comes the guilt — because you think "what kind of person dreads being touched by the person they love?"
You've become an expert at managing the gap between what you feel and what you think you should feel. You go to bed at different times. You make sure hugs stay short. You've learned exactly how to position yourself on the sofa so there's just enough distance that nothing gets misread.
And underneath all of that, the fear that you hardly dare put into words for yourself is:
What if this means our relationship is over?
What if I'm… broken?
You're not. What you're experiencing makes complete sense — and there's a reason nothing you've tried has worked. (Or why you're terrified of trying anything at all).
"Before Re:Desire I was completely uninterested in sex. My sex drive had gradually gotten weaker and weaker. We didn't talk about it. I had a hard time explaining how I felt and didn't know how to bring it up with my husband. He didn't say much about it either and it was there as an unresolved issue between us. If we hadn't sought help we probably would have gone our separate ways.
Instead, we've become closer than ever. I've gotten better at being in the moment, both when it comes to sex and at work. I even sleep better. Nowadays it's easy to trigger my sex drive! I've noticed that I actually have a sex drive and every morning I can turn that wonderful feeling on. Just walking around and feeling turned on is absolutely wonderful."
— Marie, 51
"I was completely uninterested in sex. Now it's easy to trigger my sex drive."
The thing you'll wish someone had explained to you years ago (in just 20 minutes).
Because either you're having sex you don't want, or you're not having sex often, or at all — yet you're thinking about the not-having-of it all the time. And the toll it's taking is massive.
More on how it works
What you've tried —
and why it hasn't worked
You've Googled it, read the articles, probably tried some of the advice — scheduling sex, buying new lingerie, attempting the "just do it and you'll get into it" approach your friend swears by.
Maybe you've even tried therapy. Couples therapy where sex came up once and then never again, or individual therapy where the focus was on anxiety or communication, but never on desire specifically. Maybe you've taken an online workshop or downloaded a workbook.
Maybe some of it helped a little, for a little while. But most of it didn't help at all. And every failed attempt added another layer to the belief that this is just who you are now.
But it's not.
The reason none of it has worked is that you've been pressing the accelerator when the brakes are on. More effort, more tips, more trying — applied to a body that was already yelling "No! Enough already".
Everything you tried was focused on building more desire without first understanding what was blocking it.
Until you figure out what's got the brakes on — and release them — no amount of accelerating is going to move things forward.
And if you release the brakes, and you don't know what you want in bed, then it won't work either.
Re:Desire is designed to work with both systems: the stuff that turns you off and the stuff that turns you on.
Tell me more →
scheduling sex
NEW LINGERIE
Just doing it
COUPLES THERAPY
ONLINE WORKSHOP
What Re:Desire Is
Re:Desire is 4 months of private, 1:1 coaching with me — for the stressed-out partner with low desire. So you can understand what's going on with your own desire, before you start the (possible) relational work with your partner.
It's built around my proprietary four-phase framework that looks at your unique situation: what's blocking your desire, what drives it, and how to build a sex life that truly works for you (not just dutiful birthday and anniversary sex, thank you very much!).
It's fully asynchronous, which means no Zoom calls to squeeze in between school runs. No scheduled sessions to forget about. Everything happens through voice notes and text on Voxer — a free messaging app that takes minutes to set up.
You message me when something comes up, when you're stuck, when you can't believe something actually worked, or when I've asked you questions. I send you deep, personalised responses once a week on a set day. The whole thing is designed to fit into your life, not the other way around.
But it's not the framework on its own that changes things (although the framework is excellent, if I do say so myself). It's what happens inside the coaching.
9+ years
Refining the method
Clients supported
1000+
This is the programme I've built over 9 years and over 1,000 clients. It's the method that works — refined into the most efficient, most personalised version I've ever offered.
I'm tracking your patterns across weeks and months.
I hear what you say — and I hear what's underneath it.
I notice when you're avoiding something.
I notice when something shifts before you do.
I make decisions about what to work on next based on where you actually are that week — not where a textbook says you "should be".
This is what getting out of your head and back into your body actually looks like — with personalised attention from a specialist who knows your full picture
From “not tonight, love” to “one more time, love.”
Imagine slipping between the sheets together after the kids have gone to bed because the last thing on both your minds is sleep. You want sex. Glorious, touch-me-again sex.
No more scheduling sex. No more ‘birthdays and anniversaries only’ sex. No more keeping track of “the last time you did it”. Because sex is part of your life again. A moment to be grabbed, anytime.
You get what turns you on. You’re friends with your body again. No more anxiety and shame about sex. Just pleasure and peace. The way it should be.
Learn more
The Energy You Think You Don't Have
And you might be right that you don't have energy to spare. But here's what I know, after all my years helping clients: you’re likely already spending all the energy — it's just not moving you forward.
You really don't need to be 100% ready (and to be honest, most of us never are). You just need to be tired enough of this to want something different.
That's a lot of work, done every day. And it’s taxing. So, so taxing.
Re:Desire doesn't ask you to summon energy you don't have. It asks you to redirect what's already being spent — away from managing the distance, toward understanding what created it and what’s needed to change it.
At some point (maybe even right now?), you've probably told yourself you don't have the energy for this.
Your energy goes into reading the room before you get into bed.
Into making yourself busy just late enough that the moment has passed.
Into the particular way you move when your partner reaches for you — not pulling away completely, but not meeting them in a snuggle.
"We were at a point where I was counting and making sure that we had sex so and so many times a month, and not really ever having sex for myself... We have sorted out a lot of our sexual issues and turned it from a downward spiral to an upward one."
— "Amanda", 43
"We were at a point where I was counting and making sure that we had sex so and so many times a month, and not really ever having sex for myself... We have sorted out a lot of our sexual issues and turned it from a downward spiral to an upward one."
— "Amanda", 43
The Phases to Stress-Free Sex & Intimacy
1
Map your starting point
Before we do anything else, I need to understand your full picture — the specific patterns, pressures, and experiences that have led to this point. That's what the diagnostic onboarding does. This way, we hit the ground running with a clear picture of where you are, instead of months spent here.
2
Remove What's Blocking You
This is where we address your brakes — the specific things keeping you stuck. Stress, pressure, shame, defence mechanisms, the way sex conversations go, past experiences that are still affecting you deeply. What we work on depends entirely on what your diagnostic revealed.
3
Activate What Drives Your Desire
Once the pressure starts melting away, we turn toward what actually creates desire for you — what genuinely gets your brain going "YES! I want this!". This part often surprises people, because up until now, you might have had no clue what you enjoy.
4
Build The Sustainable Action Plan
I build a custom Desire Action & Maintenance Plan for you, to keep it all going after the programme ends. Because the goal isn't to need me forever — it's to leave knowing what your desire needs to thrive, and how to give it just that.
Re:claim your sex drive
What happens inside these four phases looks different for every single person — because the framework is built around you, not the other way around.
"When I joined Re:Desire I wondered if I might be asexual. After the programme I feel more connected to my husband and I feel like we're thriving as a couple.
There have been major strides with pleasure on my end and being open to trying something new. It's resulted in us finding a miracle that makes me have an orgasm typically under 90 seconds. And that's been amazing and worth the whole investment of the programme on its own! I don't even feel guilt or shame anymore if I need something to turn me on, and I am giving myself compassion for whatever I need."
— Michelle, 48
"I wondered if I might be asexual. Now we're thriving."
1
How It All Works
From the moment you start — to the time you offboard.
(Scroll for the short video version)
We Figure Out What's Going On
When you join, you complete three of my proprietary assessment tools — The Intimacy Barometer, The Desire Assessment (with a video from me walking you through the scientific model behind it), and The Defence Mechanisms Analysis.
All designed so I get a bird's-eye view of what's going on, so we start with a clear picture.
You complete your diagnostic by 6 September, and 72 hours later, you hear from me. A short, personalised video where I walk you through what I'm already seeing in your results — what patterns are emerging, where I think we need to start, and what questions I have for you so we can get into the weeds and understand the details. Essentially, you hear from me before your coaching even formally begins.
(Because I know you'll spend those 72 hours lying awake, wondering if your answers revealed something terrible. They didn't. I promise.)
3
Custom Assessment Tools
1
personal video feedback
2
We Get To Work
You message me on Voxer, answering my questions from the diagnostic, and we're off.
Voxer is your place to reach out whenever you want — through voice notes or text, after something happens with your partner, when you're stuck on an exercise, when you have a question at midnight, when something shifts that you want to tell someone about. There's no limit on how often you reach out.
Once a week on a set day, I send back in-depth responses. These aren't quick "great job, keep going!" replies — it's usually about 15–25 minutes of tailored coaching (depending on how much you've sent me), where I walk through everything you've shared that week, point out the patterns I'm seeing, and prescribe specific exercises for where you are right now.
Every exercise is chosen for your specific situation and adjusted as we go. If an exercise doesn't land the way it should, we figure out why and change course (more on that below). Because this is not a one-size-fits-all roadmap.
Every fourth week is an integration week — a deliberate pause built into the method so you can absorb and apply what we've covered. Think of it less as a week off and more as a week where the work settles in. It's part of the programme, not a gap in it.
Once weekly
Asynchronous, in-depth coaching
4th week
INtegration
ALONGSIDE Your COACHING
Everything supports the work - without becoming homework
Custom Presacriptions (not a fixed curriculum)
When a concept comes up in your coaching that I deem helpful for you to dig deeper into — like how desire works, or how the pressure cycle works, or what's actually happening in your body when you feel angry — I'll point you to a short explainer that I've added to your portal. A few minutes of audio or video that gives you the science behind what we're working on, sent to you at exactly the moment it's relevant.
These aren't a course you work through on your own (you've got enough on your plate, trust me). They exist so we don't spend your precious coaching time on things I can teach you in three minutes of video or audio — which means more of our time together goes toward the work that actually requires me knowing you and your situation.
Between Coaching Days
Something happens with your partner on a Saturday evening, or your coaching day is three days away and that feels impossibly long (ask me how I know!).
Your Google Drive folder includes a small set of practical tools for exactly these moments — short videos or audios walking you through exercises for anxiety, worry, and difficult emotions.
This is not an extensive library for you to browse, nor a self-help detour. It's something to hold on to in the meantime — and then you send the voice note to me anyway.
Because what happened on Saturday is exactly what I need to hear about on our coaching day. These tools are what you reach for if and when you feel you need them.
Everything Lives In One Place
Your personal Google Drive folder holds your diagnostics and video, your prescribed exercises, the explainers I've pointed you to, and your between-session tools. One folder, private, shared only between you and me.
So you don't have to hunt for old emails, rather, you can see what you're working on as it builds over four months. And this is way more satisfying than it sounds!
3
When It's Time To Fly Solo
When you're nearing the 4-month mark, I take everything we've talked about; all the things blocking your desire, the things that ignite it, that exercise you loved that really moved the needle — and compile it into a personalised action plan.
This way you know exactly what to focus on when (and why), after our time together. You're not left hanging and confused — that's not my style.
1
Comprehensive action & maintenance plan
Tell me more
I feel very supported and very nurtured through the process. Who could have ever imagined we'd live in a world where we'd share our deepest intimacies with a person who we never meet in person and doesn't even see our face?! You're genius!! It really is amazing and kudos for being a disruptor in an industry that is pretty laggard!
—"Molly", 40
Here's what this sounds like in practice
If You’re Worried…
"Before Re:Desire we had tried marriage counselling, date nights, lingerie, massages (all the things you mention in your training), but none of it really worked.
We did the couples exercise twice last week and I've never been so turned on in my life! I also feel that we are emotionally in a really good place and that the pressure on me has lessened. It's like we've remembered why we're still together and why we're still in love after all these years!"
— Louise, 42
"Before Re:Desire we had tried marriage counselling, date nights, lingerie, massages, but none of it really worked."
Sounds like exactly what my relationship needs, but how do I know Re:Desire is right for me?
Re:Desire is the perfect fit for you if:
Re:Desire is not a great fit for you if:
You're in a monogamous relationship where desire has dropped or disappeared — and the pressure around sex is affecting you negatively.
You're tired of dreading your partner's touch and feeling guilty about it.
You want something personalised — not a generic course or a self-help book.
You're ready to actually understand why you feel this way, not just try harder.
You're looking for a quick fix or a weekend workshop that will "reset" your sex drive. (That's not how desire works, though I know a lot of us wish it did!)
You want couples therapy. This programme is for the individual in a couple — the person whose desire has plummeted or never really existed. Not because you're broken, but because carrying around this crushing pressure isn't doable anymore.
Your relationship by no means has to be perfect, but you'll need some kind of relationship foundation to build upon in this program.
You're in a crisis that requires immediate clinical support — active abuse, untreated severe mental health conditions, or trauma or (C)PTSD. If you're unsure if this is you, reach out and I'll help you work out if something else would be a better fit.
You want to work with a specialist, on your own terms, on your own schedule.
You want to want your desire back. Or maybe you want to find out if it was ever really there in the first place — and discover what desire actually looks like for you.
I’m Leigh (she/her), your trusted sex coach and therapist.
I've helped over 1,000 people feel like having sex again — and actually enjoy it. I've been featured in USA Today, VICE & The Independent, among others.
I'm a sex therapist and coach with a Master of Science in Sexology, 13 years of coaching and therapeutic work, and 9+ of them specialising in sex and desire. In that time I've helped over 1,000 people flip the script that says no sex, or very little sex, means something is wrong with you and your relationship.
My life's work is getting you out of your head and back in your body so you can enjoy sex, confidently connect to your sexuality, and relish melted marshmallow intimacy in your relationship again.
I created Re:Desire because I saw the same pattern again and again: people who loved their partners and couldn't understand why they'd stopped wanting them. They'd tried everything the internet told them to try, and none of it had worked — because none of it was designed to figure out what was actually going on underneath.
I built this programme around the science of desire — what blocks it, what drives it, and how to build an intimate life that you actually want.
I live in Stockholm, Sweden with my family. When I'm not coaching, I host the podcast In Bed with Science, where I talk about sex, desire, and intimacy with the same directness you'll find in our coaching conversations.
And in case you're wondering, yes, my job is exactly as awkward to explain at school pick-up as it sounds.
"Re:Desire was the best investment we ever made, thank you for helping us get our amazing sex life back! As someone who considered my relationship of 15 years to be near-perfect, Re:Desire brought us so much closer than I ever thought possible.
When I contacted you, I felt such intense shame and guilt because of my low desire that I couldn't help but cry every time I thought about sex. If I'm ever struggling with these feelings again, I have the tools and my partner's support to get to a better place."
— Maegan, 33
"The shame and guilt made me cry every time I thought about sex. Now we've got our amazing sex life back!"
"I have started to feel less pressure and stress around sex. I turn my focus solely to how I can enjoy sex more. I am not faking any more, during sex I really try to enjoy it.
For the first time in our life we have started to talk about sex, what we like and what we do not like. The frequency of the sex is not improved yet but for sure the quality is increased. I have an orgasm most times we have sex.
Joining Re-Desire is one of the best decision I have ever made. After 45 years I have started to enjoy sex. The exercises and Leigh's advice helped a lot to ease the process and remove the stress around this subject. Leigh's approach is always very calming, re-assuring and encouraging."
— "Lilly", 45
Statistics Are Great And All, But This Is The Bit To Pay Attention To: What My Clients Say.
"After 45 years I have started to enjoy sex."
"Before joining Re:Desire we had little/no sex life — and I was always 'in my head' — performance focus. I wasn't connected with my partner, which I didn't even realise before joining the programme.
Now there is less pressure, more intimacy and sharing — openness. I'm more tuned in to my partner. If you're thinking of joining Re:Desire — just do it. You will feel the benefits."
— John, 70
"Always in my head. Performance focus. Now I'm actually tuned in to my partner."
Start With One Month. Stay Because It's Working.
Month-to-month
Pay in full
Programme length
$550/month - $2200 total
$2000 save $200
4 months
start my first month →
I've structured it this way because you've probably spent money on things that didn't work before. The last thing you need is another big financial commitment before you've experienced what makes this different.
Starting with one month gives the method space to prove itself. And gives you space to breathe.
"Even though it was a difficult decision financially, improving your mental health and relationship is worth it if you can save for a purchase like this. I love how personalized the experience has been. I now experience more pleasure during sex and increased intimacy as a result of understanding my and my partner's sexuality."
- "Maegan", 33
"Nobody will ever regret joining Re:Desire, no matter what, you will get so much out of the course. I should have done this course years ago."
- "Nathan", 44
TAKE ME TO CHECKOUT →
Program starts Mon, 7 September.
I'm onboarding everyone together. Submit your diagnostic by Sunday 6 September and your personal 72-hour feedback video will be with you by Wednesday 9 September.
Join by 2nd September to lock in the supportive early-bird bonus: one extra day of asynchronous coaching per week, for your first month.
Let's Talk Numbers.
(Because I know you're thinking about them — and you should be).
That's $3,200–$4,160 over four months.
$200/session x 4 sessions/month=
$800
Therapy with someone else typically costs anywhere between 7,500 to 30,000 USD, for weekly sessions over 1–2 years.
start my first month →
Individuals
Sex therapy with me
Couples
$260 /session x 4 sessions/month=
$1040
Sex therapy with other clinicians
There's no set timeline, the first few sessions are usually spent figuring out whether you and the therapist are even a good fit (while the clock's ticking at $200+ an hour, and you're sitting there wondering if it's too early to mention the sex thing).
Re:Desire
Mapped program with beginning, middle & end
Done in 4 months
A proprietary 4-phase framework
On your own schedule
Re:Desire is specialist work — the same level of expertise as 1:1 sex therapy, built into a format that costs less and takes less time. Here's what that actually looks like in practice at my usual session rate.
If you've read this far, you already know something needs to change.
Because this — the avoidance, the guilt, the distance, the dread — isn't how you want to live. And quite frankly, you deserve a life that lights you up, sex included.
Re:Desire is four months.
It's private.
It's built entirely around your specific situation.
And it starts with one month, so you can feel what the work is like before you go any further.
There’s no more shame or guilt about your sex drive — only ease. .
I'm ready for change
“We were decent roommates before Re:Desire but sex was non-existent. After 30 years of marriage nothing was very intimate. It hung over our heads. My biggest difficulty was feeling resentful for everything I did for my husband and our home and therefore I just was not interested in sex.
Our relationship is much closer… more genuine affection with kisses and hugs. We are making time for sex in a playful way. I am asking for what I want and personal exploration is helping me determine what that is. Not just with sex but in our relationship as well. I am happy we have a sex life again and are having fun with it! Things now feel good, honest and real… a true communicative partnership including fun. 🤩
— "Hazel", 57
"Sex was non-existent after 30 years of marriage."
"We were at a point where I was counting and making sure that we had sex so and so many times a month, and not really ever having sex for myself. I found Re:Desire when searching for something like 'I want to want to have sex.'
My partner and I now know my own sexuality a lot better, and that there is nothing wrong with it just because it is not the spontaneous, touching-based desire that is portrayed in most popular literature, movies and TV. I'm also a lot more aware of the shame I feel towards not being 'normal' when it comes to sex.
If you and your partner struggle with mismatched libidos, I highly recommend this programme. We have sorted out a lot of our sexual issues and turned it from a downward spiral to an upward one."
— Amanda, 43
What Clients Say About Working With Me
"I was counting and making sure that we had sex so and so many times a month."
"My sex life has improved dramatically since I started the program. As a man dealing with low desire, I felt like there was nowhere I could turn because it is such a difficult topic for men. Leigh's coaching was so impactful to help me understand that I was not broken, but that my sex life had become infected and needed some healing.
I would not have been able to do this by myself. If you struggle with low desire, sexual anxiety/performance issues, join now! Thank you so much for your help! My wife and I are forever indebted to you."
— Grant, 40
"As a man dealing with low desire, I felt like there was nowhere to turn."
"The insights have been really spot on and also compassionate — I've felt really seen and supported through something that's been very hard and very isolating, even when I know I share similar experiences with friends and others in my season of life."
— Penelope, 39
"I've felt really seen and supported through something very hard and very isolating."
"Helped us start talking about sex in an undramatic way after 20 years together."
— "Michael & Linda", 42-45
"Helped us start talking about sex"
"Me and my partner have always been able to talk about everything, but we still experienced a slump when we had kids. I experienced problems with my body and sexuality after childbirth.
This course helped us push past our difficulties and blocks. A few months in sex feels nearly 100% exciting, fun and intimate again. Thanks for this course :) It's helped us a lot."
— "Karen", 31-35
"We had a slump after kids. A few months in — sex feels exciting, fun, and intimate again."
"Before the programme I felt pressure to have sex regularly, pressure to enjoy sex, and pressure to climax regularly. The program has redefined sex and intimacy. I'm now aware of my turn-offs and turn-ons and my sex life with my husband has exploded!"
— Marissa, 44
"Before the program I felt pressure to have sex, pressure to enjoy it, and pressure to climax."
"This couples exercise has been great. It's the most physical connection and affection we've had outside of sex EVER and the most connected and relaxed any of that has felt to me in a LONG time. My husband is also enormously enjoying it and very aligned on progressing very slowly, very attuned to how I'm feeling."
— Chelsea, 39
"This is the most physical connection we've had outside of sex — ever."
"Re:Desire has been a GREAT help in every way possible and my situation with my husband has greatly improved.
We had a strained relationship before joining the program. Still loving but distanced in bed and no romance. No touches outside of sex and irritation if anything seemed like initiating sex. Now there's more enjoyment during sex, less pressure and most importantly increased general wellbeing. We have reached a level of understanding and communication we couldn't have reached without your work. I am forever grateful for the program!"
— "Jen", 32
"Strained relationship before joining the program. Still loving but distanced in bed, no romance."
"After several years of having problems and a total loss sex drive, I found Leigh and no longer felt alone. She mixes theoretical knowledge of the body and mind with goal-oriented exercises in a great way, which helped me have faith. The sessions helped me get to know my body, how it reacts, and to not feel hopeless, that my sex drive is actually there. Above all, she helped me become friends with my body again!"
— "Billie", 30
"Several years of having problems and a total loss sex drive."
"I've got a better grasp on my own and my partner's desires and sexuality now. There's way less stress and pressure around sex, and we're communicating about it so much better. Overall, I just feel happier and more at ease. This programme has also allowed my partner to understand me better and why I've been struggling with intimacy for so long. It's definitely brought us closer together."
— Angela, 27
"There's way less stress and pressure around sex, and we're communicating so much better."
"Wins right now: we kept talking even though there were some rough spots and we have communicated our desire for sex when we are in bed, which has led to very intimate and fulfilling sex! I wish I had been willing to communicate years earlier"
— "Mindy", 53
"I wish I had been willing to communicate years earlier"
"(After 2 months) I’ve been feeling more comfortable regarding sex. Specifically, feeling less anxiety about the possibility that sex could happen. And we’ve had great sex twice this week without using meds and it was really intimate during and after. Big wins!”
— "Ben", 42
"We’ve had great sex twice this week without using meds and it was really intimate during and after".
"Since we started Re:Desire, we have become more emotionally and physically comfortable with each other than we ever have been. It’s lovely to just be cuddling and enjoying the new way of being together physically. The quality of our relationship deepens as a result of the work we have done with your help in this program. Many thanks!"
— "Barbara", 65
"More emotionally and physically comfortable with each other than we ever have been"
"Sex was some chore that I wanted to avoid. I felt like a bad wife and could feel the frustration and sadness from my husband. It had gone on for so long that a divorce was near.
I wanted a “foolproof “ method. Going to a sexual therapist felt so uncertain but this programme had a specific timeframe for when I should see a result.
Leigh's approach helped me and my partner create more closeness in our marriage. Communication about sex has also improved, and I'm feeling more relaxed and happier overall and enjoying sex a lot more. Plus, we're doing it more often now which is great! It's been really eye-opening to learn about other ways to approach and think about sex, and I feel like I have a better understanding of myself and my partner's desires. If you're thinking about joining Re:Desire, do it!"
— "Rosanna", 32
"Sex was some chore that I wanted to avoid. I felt like a bad wife."
"Before I experienced a lot of sexual anxiety, and my constant rejection of my partner and shutting down physically and emotionally when she tried to initiate was by far the biggest issue in our marriage. Our awareness of our issues, the reasons underpinning them, the years of emotional hardwiring that contributes to both our behaviors, has improved massively. Alongside that, we have more empathy and understanding for each other now, and are both far less likely to get upset when sex or intimacy doesn’t work out how we had hoped.
We also have action and maintenance plans to help us going forward, so a roadmap for the future. In between, we have found ways to make sex fun and enjoyable again (when it does actually happen), and there is much less tension in our marriage overall now.
— "Ryan", 36
"My constant rejection of my partner and shutting down physically and emotionally when she tried to initiate was by far the biggest issue in our marriage"
This is the best thing I have found after 17 years of searching for answers! It's amazing to have someone to talk to and be able to pinpoint things. It's great to not feel alone or broken. I can understand my body and how it works instead of trying to force it into a box where it doesn't fit."
— "Shauna", 38
"This is the best thing I have found after 17 years of searching"
"Last week we had sex four times...which was amazing. I don't think we have done that in a long time. Also we went over your response to the last exercise, and we talked about it for a long time. It was an emotional time, and we bonded really well over that conversation."
— "Rob", 32
"Last week we had sex four times...which was amazing"
"We're having sex more often and I'm finding real pleasure in it. When I joined the program I was sad and desperate and didn't like the idea of sex at all.
I'd tried seeing a therapist, toys, massages, scheduling sex, even going off my antidepressant medications. I really appreciate the opportunity and all the help in Re:Desire. Would definitely recommend it, it's worth it."
— "Joni", 35
"When I joined the program I was sad and desperate and didn't like the idea of sex at all."
"Your course has been revolutionary! The last five years have been lined by private CBT therapists, dynamic psychotherapy, psychologists, a sex therapist, almost all natural remedies you can think of, and antidepressants… but your course is what's really made a difference. Now positive changes have really started happening, absolutely wonderful to be able to experience sex as intensely and beautifully as before. You've given me my life back, hugs."
— "Harry", 46
"Absolutely wonderful to be able to experience sex as intensely and beautifully as before."
You've almost convinced yourself this is just who you are.
You know what it feels like right now; the tensing when they move in for a snuggle. The agonising guilt when you push them away or pretend you don’t understand that they want more. The sex that feels uninspiring and... blah.
You've been dealing with this for long enough that you've almost convinced yourself it's just who you are now.
Four months. One person who has done this time and time again, and will do it again with you.
You don't have to be ready to jump back into bed. You just have to be willing to find out what's actually going on - and then we’ll take it from there.
It isn't.
And I'm going to bet that somewhere underneath the exhaustion and the shame — you already know that. Otherwise you wouldn't still be reading.